This is supposedly a true story; the names have been changed to protest the not so innocent. After some last minute Christmas shopping, Clara Smith was rushing her grandkids into the car. As she was closing the door, four-year-old Jason said, ‘Grandma, Susie has something in her pocket.’ He reached into Susie’s pocket and pulled out a new red barrette. They decided…

There is a joke about us that says: ‘Ahh, it is December, the time when all Unitarian Universalists become Christians.’ And Garrison Keillor told another one about us: “A sign at the Unitarian church said: ‘Bible study at 7:00. Bring your Bible and a pair of scissors.” In 1822, comes from a New York theology professor named Dr. Clement Clarke Moore, a…

THE RABBI’S GIFT The Different Drum Versionby Dr. M. Scott Peck The story concerns a monastery that had fallen upon hard times. Once a great order, as a result of waves of antimonastic persecution in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries and the rise of secularism in the nineteenth, all its branch houses were lost and it had become decimated to the extent…

My favorite Thanksgiving joke? A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy answered, “No ma’am, they’re dead.” At any given time, we’re busy with our cakes and ale and turkey feathers. It’s only later, looking…

Opening Reading: ‘The Invitation’ by Oriah Mountain It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.I want to know what you ache for,and if you dare dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are.I want to know if you will risk looking the fool for love,for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. It…

A pastor was talking with a hard working woman who was a devoted member, present at all services. He expressed his thanks for seeing her so attentive every Sunday. ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘It is such a rest after a long, hard week’s work to come to church, to sit down on the soft cushions, and not think about anything.’ From a Catholic…

HEAVEN AND HELL While walking down the street one day, a corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. “Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official so we’re not sure what…

The great novelist who was raised by missionary parents in China, Pearl Buck once shared a story that she remembered: ‘I remember as a child hearing my impatient missionary father as he explained to an elderly Chinese gentleman, ‘Does it mean nothing to you that if you reject Christ you will burn in hell?’ many stars in the sky.’ First, of course…

A sergeant and his private sat in a small compartment on a train as they took a trip together. Facing them, in the same compartment, sat a grandmother and her lovely granddaughter. As the train entered a long, dark tunnel, a long, joyful, wet kiss was heard, followed by a loud slap. The grandmother thought, “That young private kissed my granddaughter and…

We’ll start with a group process joke. How many Unitarian Universalists does it take to change a light bulb? I’ll take answers from the floor…, give you mine, have time for exhaustive discussion, then we’ll vote on the one we like the best and it will go in the bylaws. Let’s start with yours- Mine is ‘Are we sure the light bulb…