An atheist buys an ancient lamp at an auction, takes it home, and  begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, ?I?ll grant  you three wishes, Master.? The atheist says, ?I wish I could believe  in you.? The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist  believes in him. The atheist says, ?Wow. I wish all atheists would  believe this.? The genie snaps his fingers…

In an English cemetery we find this last thoughtful epitaph:  “Remember man, as you walk by,As you are now, so once was I.As I am now, so shall you be.Remember this and follow me.” To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:“To follow you I’ll not consent . . . Until I know which way you went.”    Ambrose   Bierce, the…

We have lost one of our best and most representative ministers, As  I?ve said, It?s a little bit like losing Emerson, especially if  Emerson had stayed in the ministry!  It?s hard to believe that Forrest  Church is really gone. Partly, as he said, because he preached 5  farewell sermons! But also because he was larger than life. because he  was my age, and because he was so…

The issue of same gender marriage is one of the issues that are being  addressed today. Let me share some verses from the Bible to help clear  things up. “A. Marriage  shall consist of a union between one man and one or more  women. (Gen. 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5) “B. Marriage shall not impede a man’s right to take concubines inaddition to his wife or…

A family visited this church recently, a father, a mother, a  twelve-year-old girl and a ten-year-old boy. I’m sorry to say they   didn’t like it much. The father didn’t like the sermon, the mother  didn’t like the choir, the twelve-year-old girl said it was “boring.”   And the ten-year-old boy said, “Well, what did you expect for a   dollar?”    You may be a Unitarian Universalist if on…

A visitor came to Israel and saw the Western Wall. Not being too  versed in religious aspects, he inquired of another tourist about the  significance of the wall. The other tourist explained, “This is a  sacred wall. If you pray to it, God may hear you.”    The visitor walked close to the wall and started to pray. “Dear  Lord,” he said, “bring sunshine and warmth…

A visitor to a Unitarian Universalist church sat through the sermon  with growing incredulity at the heretical ideas the minister  expressed. After the sermon, a member of the congregation asked the  visitor: ?so how did you like it??   ?I can?t believe half the things the minister said? sputtered the visitor.   ?Oh good, then you fit right in!?    Then, of course, there?s the classic-?Why does…

A Unitarian Universalist joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors,” he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words.…

A rabbi was walking home from the Temple and saw one of his good friends, a pious and learned man who could usually beat the rabbi in an argument. The rabbi started walking faster so that he could catch up to his friend, when he was horrified to see his friend go into a Chinese restaurant (not a kosher one). Standing at…

A Master was surprised to hear shouting and altercation going on in his courtyard. When he was told that one of his disciples was at the center of it, he had the man sent for and asked what the cause of the din was. ‘There is a delegation of scholars that has come to visit you. I told them you do not…